Close to You

"(They Long to Be) Close to You" is a popular song written by Burt Bacharach and Hal David. It was first recorded by Richard Chamberlain and released as a single in 1963 as "They Long to Be Close to You," without parentheses. It was not until seven years later when this song finally spouted and grew. In 1970, it was released by Karen and Richard Carpenter as, (They Long to Be) Close to You. It became their breakthrough hit. The song stayed at number one on the Billboard Hot 100 for four weeks.

We never know when a seed that we have planted will spring to life. Today I had coffee with one of my former (and first) students. I first met Rachael at 14. She was a freshman in high school. When she was a junior, I selected her to be the captain of our school’s volleyball team. Her senior year, my son chose her to be the assistant coach of the school’s soccer team.

Today, at 19, she started college. We agreed to meet for coffee. As we talked, I saw the first green shoots of her life coming out of the grounded state she has lived since High School graduation. Her dream is to become a forensic biologist. I believe she will.

Rachael represents the reason why I teach. I believe in and love dearly every one of my students.

Two other little known facts: First, “(They Long to Be) Close to You” is Homer and Marge's love song on The Simpsons. Second, Rachael is the only student I have given a math final that “Aced” the entire first page and then missed every question on the second page. Duh! (Thank-you Homer Simpson)

Even a Wrecked Life Can Rise Again.

In 1974 Gordon Lightfoot released a song titled “Sundown”. It arguably is his most popular. Although not known at the time when it reached number one on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100, the song was about a dark period in his life. To his credit, after the sun went down on him, he recovered and emerged back on top writing other great ballads. “Carefree Highway” (1974), “Rainy Day People” (1975), and my personal favorite, “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” (1976). This 1976 classic song was a direct reflection of my personal “love life” during my high school days.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgI8bta-7aw

35 years later, I am in a place where my personal relationships are in a place of recovery; this wreck is coming up off the bottom of the lake. What changed? The sun finally set (divorce). I hit the bottom of the lake. I decided that I could either stay down here or push off the bottom and swim my way up. So I pushed, and someone who knows this wreck is helping me kick. Another change, I weigh less than 190 pounds for the first time in over a year. Perhaps being lighter makes the swim to the surface a bit easier. As I swim for the surface I will remain single... and Black (smile). But when I emerge, I will not be fat. If you are on bottom perhaps its time to push off? Consider what sunk you, and how you can raise your own ship, then start kicking!

More than "Stayin' Alive" is "Being" Alive

"Stayin' Alive" is a song by the pop group Bee Gees was released on December 13, 1977 as the second single from the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack. This was a day after my High School won the Colorado State Football Championship. By February 4th it hit the number one spot on the Billboard Hot 100. Consequently it became the band's most recognizable tune.
All I have been doing is staying alive at 194 lbs the last two weeks. That is not acceptable for myself. To combat this I will purchase a treadmill. It goes against conventional wisdom, but this single fat black guy knows what he will do. I have also been doing research and found that too often, treadmills seduce you into cranking up the speed or incline beyond what is comfortable to manage. If you're supporting your body weight by an object, you're using less personal energy to ambulate forward, therefore using less muscle and fewer calories.
Interestingly enough, I have been supporting my emotional weight with multiple things. It has taken less personal energy in healing therefore less ambulation forward. I want more than just “Stayin’ Alive” and my God has more in store for me. So, I need to say good-bye to emotional and hello to purchasing a treadmill. Hey, today is Black Friday. Cannot think of a better day.

Roller Coaster of Love

"Love Rollercoaster" is a song by The Ohio Players. The song was a hit upon its initial release, reaching the top of both the R&B and pop charts. The song uses the roller coaster, a common theme park attraction, as a metaphor for the ups and downs of dating and romantic relationships.” I am not surprised that one year after my divorce that my rollercoaster of emotions has left me on a rollercoaster ride of weight change. It is time to stop climbing and head down hill and eventually get off this ride.

My background in psychology tells me that although what I have experienced is more commonly expressed in women, it is a human reaction. Let me summarize my weight versus my emotions in this manner: encountering unexpected internal conflict can prevent weight loss. Losing weight is just as much about emotions as it is about diet and exercise. Without being aware, I had turned to food to bury my emotions. It was my way of avoiding the negative feelings. Only within the last two months, and with the help of my Life Group (www.lifechurch.tv) was I willing to experience the emotions and diffuse them. Once I was honest with myself I became ready to move forward without using food for comfort.

For many of us guys (and perhaps even more for us Black guys) we need to learn to face problems head-on instead of internalizing.

So this blog is my facing things head on. It is my own behavior therapy.